In Which Pizza Is Made Unnecessarily Complicated.

So, earlier this week, my mom got me stuff for flatbread pizzas, but forgot to get the flatbread. As you can imagine, it’s very hard to make flatbread pizzas without flatbread. On the next shopping trip, I asked for flatbread again, and they forgot it… again. So today, I decided, screw this, and googled Easy No-Yeast Pizza Crust.

It was really easy, actually, but made unnecessarily complicated by the fact that I am babysitting today and Spawn was very gung-ho about the pizza. “Guess what, Spawn?” I said. “We’re making pizza!” He dropped his toy, looked up at me, and whispered, “Pizza?” (He looooves pizza. Every time someone knocks on the door he runs screaming to it yelling PIZZA because he’s convinced the pizza guy is here.)

The last thing we baked together was banana bread, so he decided that obviously what our pizza dough needed more than anything was a banana. So he grabbed a banana, and when I turned around to get more supplies, he dumped it in. Luckily, the dough was already dough-y and solid, and I caught him before he could mash the banana up, but it was still unnerving to see a semi-rotten banana sitting on top of my nice pizza dough.

Then came the kneading. Spawn has been watching a lot of kung-fu movies lately, so he started punching the dough yelling YAH! YAH! HY-YAH! and got really pissed when I took over and actually kneaded it. He started playing with the flour, covering his hand up to his elbow in white and putting tiny flour-y handprints over everything, up to and including my pants.

I got him cleaned up from that, and started rolling the dough out, which was mostly uneventful, and then we brushed on oil, which was… interesting, and left a lot of tracks in the pizza dough because he was brushing so hard, and then I put on the tomato sauce, and that was the point at which Spawn decided that we had not rolled out the pizza dough enough, and plopped the rolling pin down in the middle when I went to grab the cheese. I managed to stop him before he could forcibly remove the tomato sauce, but it was dicy for a minute.

And then we spread the cheese, and then came the pepperoni. Spawn’s opinion of pepperoni is that it should be layered over the entire pizza twice, and he was dismayed when I kept moving his pepperoni to spread them out. Then he took a stack of pepperoni and started to flour and attempt to knead them, like they were itty bitty pizzas.

Eventually we got the pizza in the oven, and a few minutes ago I pulled it out. I have another pizza with veggies on it for me in the oven currently, and Spawn seems to be enjoying his. Jade and Ender filed in to grab pizza slices too.

This probably would have been much easier without the Spawn, but he was having so much fun.

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One Response to In Which Pizza Is Made Unnecessarily Complicated.

  1. 1Alive says:

    Love this! So happy you guys had a good time and you were able to solve the pizza conundrum while I was away.

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