The airplane was very exciting. We pulled up to LAX, checked our luggage, strapped our backpacks to our backs and the Spawn to Mom (to the accompaniment of much screaming, as you can imagine) and went through Security with a sense of positive thinking and a minor case of the giggles, while Griffy stared grumpily out from the Moby Wrap and whinged. He really hated the Moby Wrap. (FYI, a Moby Wrap is a long strip of cloth that you tie around your body in a configuration that allows you to strap on a small child, so that the weight is being distributed across a larger surface and also you have your hands free to do things. To a two-year-old, it is cruel and unusual punishment. Well. It was. He’s used to it now, and is happy to climb into his little mobile hammock and fall asleep on Mom.)
We weren’t exactly wandering for the fun of it, though. See, the water in our terminal was out so there was no food or bathrooms available in it. No. Bathrooms. Obviously a horrendous terrorist plot to slaughter tourists with too much walking or over-full bladders. We did a lot of walking to other terminals in search of a bathroom, located one, and ran into a problem. You’re not supposed to leave your luggage alone in airports, even when you have to go to the bathroom, and that meant I had to take the little carry-on suitcase I was dragging AND my backpack into the tiniest stall I have ever seen in my life, maneuver those around until I could pee, then maneuver them back out, all of which was very time-consuming and cramped.
And we couldn’t even get lunch. Eventually, we pulled out our own snacks. That led to the Spawn knocking a bag of watermelon onto me and soaking a sizable portion of my skirt in juice, Chloe giggling a lot and recording interviews which may or may not have been deleted, and other interesting occurrences. just before we boarded we were told that, since the plane was overbooked, we had been upgraded to Economy Plus instead of just plain old Economy. That meant we had leg room and little seat-back TVs with a selection of movies, games, and shows.
Chloe and I ended up sitting next to a Japanese woman who didn’t speak any English and Dad sat across the aisle with one half of a lesbian couple and one of their kids. It was kind of cool, that plane ride. Lots of pretty views out the window, enough light to draw and a TV to play online board games with Chloe. I mean, we had to sit still for five hours, but hey! Still a cool ride.
The airport in New York is confusing and easy to get lost in. We have personal experience. In addition, we had heavy luggage and so we were all starving and exhausted by the time we got to our hotel. At the hotel, we were confronted by the fact that, because of time zone reasons and also directionally challenged reasons, it was eleven o clock at night, and nothing was open. We got a pizza from the late-night snacks menu, though, and spent the next fifteen minutes anticipating it, with our stomachs rumbling. The guy on the phone said it was a big pizza. It was not a big pizza. It had eight slices, and the slices were small. Because we are all intrinsically decent people, that led to several bouts of chin-up brave self-sacrifice, particularly by Dad, as Mom glumly ate the sub-par salad with bad dressing she’d gotten on the side. Finally, though, we went to bed.
(TO BE CONTINUED) (Just assume that you are consistently about a week behind times, alright, kids?)