We’re starting school at the beginning of February, my brother, my sister, and me. That’s a week and a half from now, maybe a little more. Every morning I’ll need to be up at six-thirty, when I’m accustomed to waking up at ten, so I’m trying to adjust now. I’m trying to be in bed by ten-thirty at night as opposed to half-past midnight, and I have an alarm set to wake me up at the right time. I managed it for three days, and then I found a really good story on the internet and was up until one reading it, and slept in until ten.

I’m not going to be able to do that, when we start school. I won’t be able to spend all day on the Internet, and I won’t be able to go for walks while school is in session because, this time of year, it’s going to be dark by the time I get home at four. I will have to sit in a classroom and pay attention and memorize things I don’t care about and have four hours a day of free time instead of twelve. I’ll have to listen to teachers and try to get along with kids my age, and I am terrified and dreading and sad.

I’m going to school, though, definitely, because the other side of that is not having free time. I won’t have to spend my day messing around on the Internet because I’ll have other things to do. I’ll be able to make new friends, and learn new things, and be challenged and busy and given a routine. I can go for walks on the weekend, and as the days grow longer, in the evening. I’ll have something to work towards, getting the best grades I can and trying to turn in good work, and I’ll have something to put in my head. I do the best I can with learning and finding things to do, but I can’t teach myself something I don’t know about, and everything is a hundred times more interesting when you’re with a friend. I’ll be able to make friends.

Last time I was in school, I was irritated with everyone and everything, putting off my homework until the last minute and sneering at my classmates, who were obviously so beneath me and even talked in class and made dirty jokes, the heathens. I’ve loosened up a lot since then, thank goodness, and I’ve discovered that I have patience and a work ethic which I can apply towards things if I really want to. It’s going to be better this time around. There’s a robotics club and I’m going to be working in the backstage of their large theater program, painting sets and sewing costumes and whatever, and my mom’s friend, who’s a teacher, says all the kids are really cool, so.

We’ll see how it goes.

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